Life is simple. The only complexity in our world is the mind of those living in it. In my two decades I have come across people who worry about all the wrong things; death, money, illnesses, insanity, and the list goes on. They worry so much about what had happened or what could happen that the daily life is being wasted with boredom and emptiness. Strange as it is, I met people who dread the fact that some are happy eventhough they’ve been through some terribly painful challenges. I called them challenges because they turn out to be a daily fight in our life.

I am taking a philosophy class with a wonderful professor (I stated wonderful because with the wrong prof. philosophy can turn as a boring subject) as I am studying those great philosophers and their theories I have come to the realization that the world is in reality backward and straight up confusing. And if one does not find a subject that fuels the senses with a great interest, he may as well get a rocking chair in a deserted forest and ponder on all the things that could go wrong. Our intelligence goes as far as questioning with a stubborn insistence our very own existence, a subject I wish we all would agree to rest because it will only be an infinite regress. I think our focus should be shifted from “what am I?” to “why do I act a certain way?” though we all can say the first question sometimes leads to the second, I personally think there is a world of difference between these two.

What Am I? To answer that particular question I would have to dissect under a scrutiny microscopically observation every detail about every single part of my body,=. Then reunite the greatest physician to explain the parts that they understand as far their understanding goes. And then reunite the greatest psychologist to explain my behavior and patterns as far as their knowledge can comprehend. Moreover, reunite the best of the greatest philosophers to attempt an explanation about the very marvelous existence of my own being in a world, which were told was once empty and shapeless, as far s they can mentally reach. As much as it disturbs me to admit, we will all be left with a last question which none else can dare to imagine the perfect answer to.

Time wasting time ‘till we’re timeless. This is my way of saying we are born and grow and then choose a path and then die leaving behind some mysterious theories to trigger some new mentality that can only make the world even more confusing. Not to say, however, that these great thinkers have wasted time, not to even mean that while I spend most of my days thinking about the answers to my own question, I too am wasting time. Not at all because the very essence of being born is to explore life at the extent where we draw the line by what we consider to be insane. But would we ever know the real line? Well then, let’s proceed to life carefully. I see, but how do we know the definition of careful since what we consider careful may differ from one person to the next? What I take as careful may be strictly reckless for my neighbor. How do we draw this line seriously?

Therefore the whole point is to draw your personal boundaries as so insanity does not confuse the mind. All this to summarize what my great professor told me “do not consider these theories to the extent of insanity” the way I see it everybody is right at some point in life. Nevertheless, at the end of the day it all falls into two categories “you’re either in or out”. This is just my own version of Blaise Pascal argument about the existence of God; he said “you either believe it or you don’t”. As simple as that. Whether God exist or not, whether he’s good or bad, whether we’re leaving in a dream or reality or even our thinking proves our existence. The overall is that you either believe it or you don’t. When I take that theory and apply it to my own life, I realize I can live through anything if my mind is strong enough to take it. We are so afraid of the truth that we rather spend our time living in denial or even worry about something senseless when we could have been out there living life even for one day or the rest of our days. I spent years living in denial, I had gotten so used to the empty feeling that I sometimes deliberately want to slip back to that fantasy. Every minute I spend pondering on that part of me is a minute I waste living the real life. Every time I slip back to that dreamy painful world is a lack of focus on the things that I can achieve in the present moment. Well, maybe we are all dreaming, dreaming so much that when we wake up we have just enough time to plan our funeral. How many have lost their life carrying a burden that they could have pushed aside by a simple “so what” attitude? This is not per say a carelessness or even a blindness toward what’s right or wrong but rather a-moving-along character that frees you from all those cynical questions that empoison the mind.

Like those great thinkers who never really come up with a definite answer about God’s existence, we all have our limits as to what we can understand. It is not easy to live with that kind of thought because we are stubborn creature. Everyday we face a new challenge, everyday a new question arises and then we go right back to asking “why?” well life is not an answer to a particular question. It is rather the journey that leads toward that question. We all have our little insanity side whether bury inside of us or obvious to the world. The question is not so much why do we have it but rather what do we do with it. We don’t know or may never know the answer to all of our questions. I don’t know and may never know the answer to my quest but all I’m interested in is the inspiration and experiences that my thinking is discovering throughout this journey. Maybe there is no definite answer to none of my questions but I will remember when my shadow surrounds my day I take solace in classical music and writing. I will remember that in quest for reasons I become an expert of my subject. Then I realize I am in love with music, cannot stop writing and psychology incites my interest. Well, there you have it; the reason why the first thing happened is suddenly not that important. The triggering cause becomes simply some “stuff” that I once came across. Suddenly the mind is growing in the right direction and the true intelligence is expanding for a greater good. This is what we call living life. Seize what you love, what you comprehend, seize the best of every subject you come across and let the rest falls where it may.