Age of Young Love

As I applied the last touch of my make up in front of the mirror I glance in the background and realized I was in presence of happiness. In between the crowd, the stressful bridesmaids who wanted to make sure they can make it down the stairs on time and the matron of honor who never ceased to fix the bride’s dress, it all suddenly disappeared in a far away land as I looked upon her face melting with profound love. Call me a dreamer, but young love is the real deal. You love about the time when you have so much blood running in your veins you have the energy to get mad about any little detail that might go the wrong way. You choose one person to love in about the time when temptations are at its best and your eyes have not exactly reached the “selective-stage” to disregard vain attention or beauty with intended seduction. You love at a time when you have not yet known who you really are and in fact keep changing your mind which obviously do nothing but pull each other's nerves. You love at a time when you have so much passion burning inside that you feel like the world can fall apart outside but you will still be making love to that person with no fear that one of you might be going next. You love at a time when everybody else is telling you to be careful, to be safe, to choose wisely, but all you want to do is run away free from inquisitive eyes and jump over the edge like a lunatic then regret it later. Why would others think they should protect us from young love? Why do they feel that they have to constantly warn us of the fire ahead? Yes it is true in our 20s we don’t know everything and we cannot foresee certain consequences ahead, but I like to think this is all part of the 20 stage. For those of us who listen to advices, the road might be a little smooth. However, whether we had loved a little bit too hard, whether we were too trusting, whether we had grown into adults with big scars, and made countless mistakes we wish we could take back, well here is the trick DO NOT WISH TO TAKE THEM BACK. Yes, what if after we grow old we do not wish to go back in the past and change things that already happened. The thing is no matter how bad our 20s may have been, the strong and determined ones always make it on top regardless. So why not be one of these ones? I witnessed pure beauty as I stood as bridesmaid for two young lovers taking their vows for eternity and kiss to seal it all. I searched for my hubby’s eyes in the audience and see he had already done the same and I smile. It was like we understood what was happening as we both had done the same years ago. After the wedding we went back to our home, get our bags, back in the car, grab some coffee at MC Donald’s and drive away to Massachusetts. We talked for hours, mumbled lyrics of songs we don’t even know fully. We laughed as we listened to songs that remind us when we were kids, when we think we had it all under control. In no rush to get anywhere at a precise time, he drove at the speed limit as I keep babbling about everything that popped up in my mind. Yes the other night was so beautiful, it was magical. The sky was full of stars and certain part of I95 was so deserted it felt like we were the only one on this planet. If young love is a mistake then I would make the best of it and become a full-time writer for its sake as I am sure the book will sell. After all, isn’t that exactly what “Mature” folks are doing, making the best of their lives? I am right now stealing sleep time to write this because even after I posted on my Facebook status that I am finally laying down for a good sleep, the words in my mind were too many not to release them away. Enjoy…… 

The Art of Living/ My Philosophical Approach

Life is simple. The only complexity in our world is the mind of those living in it. In my two decades I have come across people who worry about all the wrong things: death, money, illnesses, insanity, and the list goes on. They worry so much about what had happened or what could happen that the daily life is being wasted with boredom and emptiness. Strange as it is, I met people who dread the fact that some are happy even though they’ve been through some terribly painful challenges. As I study the theories of some of our great philosophers, I have come to the realization that the world is in reality backward and puzzling. If one does not thoroughly opt for the subject that fuels his senses the most and master it to perfection, he may as well get a rocking chair in a deserted forest and ponder on all the things that could go wrong. Our intelligence goes as far as questioning with a stubborn insistence, our very own existence; a subject I wish we all would agree to rest because it will always be an infinite regress. I think our focus should be shifted from “what am I?” to “why do I act a certain way?” though we all can say the first question sometimes leads to the second, I personally think there is a world of difference between these two. What Am I? To answer that particular question I would have to dissect under a scrutiny microscopical observation every detail about every single part of my body. Then reunite the greatest physicians to explain the parts that they understand as far their understanding goes. And then reunite the greatest psychologists to explain my behavior and patterns as far as their knowledge can comprehend. Moreover, reunite the best of the greatest philosophers to attempt an explanation about the very marvelous existence of my own being in a world, which we’re told was once empty and shapeless, as far s they can mentally reach. As disconcerting as it it to admit, we will all be left with a last question which none else can dare to imagine the perfect answer to. “Time wasting time ‘till out of time.” This is my way of saying we are born, we grow and then choose a path and then die leaving behind some mysterious theories to trigger some new mentality that ended up affecting thousand of future generations. Not to say, however, that these great thinkers have wasted time, not to even mean that while I spend most of my days thinking about the answers to my own question, I too am wasting time. Not at all, because the very essence of being born is to explore life, but at the extent where we draw the line by what we consider to be insane. But would we ever know the real line? Well then, let’s proceed to life carefully. How do we know the definition of careful since what we consider careful may differ from one person to the next? What I take as careful may be strictly reckless for my neighbor. How do we draw this line? Hence the whole point is to draw your personal boundaries as so insanity does not confuse your reason. All this summarizes my life in the past few years. I have been asking myself the wrong question. Why did the past happen the way it did? Did I do something wrong, did I draw these malefic situations, how did I grow from strength to suicidal? And it goes on, and on, and on. I have discovered as a mere human being I am drawn to questions. My curiosity would not allow me to move on until I find the answers I have been looking for. In the end of the day life sets us all into two categories “you’re either in or out”. This is a version of Blaise Pascal argument about the existence of God; he said “you either believe it or you don’t”. As simple as that. Whether God exist or not, whether he’s good or bad, whether we’re leaving in a dream or reality or even our thinking proves our existence. The overall is that you either believe it or you don’t. When I take that theory and apply it to life by saying “you’re either in or out” choosing to be out is not part of the options. This is born vs. unborn, thus all of us breathing should have no choice in the matter but to thrive and waltz through life. Anybody can live through anything if the mind is strong enough to deal with it. We are so afraid of the truth that we rather spend our time living in denial. We use precious present time to worry about the bitter long gone past. Spending years living in denial, one can get used to the empty feeling and sometimes even consciously slowly want to slip back to that fantasy. Every minute spent pondering on that shadow that follows us around is a minute wasted living the authentic life. Every time you slip back to that dreamy painful world is a lack of focus on the things that can be achieved in the present moment. To think that our lifespan is up to 90 years and how time swiftly fades in a blink of an eye should electrify our beings into a major epiphany to the kind of living our desire selects. Well, maybe we are all dreaming, dreaming so much that when we wake up we have just enough time to plan our funeral. How many have lost their life carrying a burden that they could have pushed aside by a simple “so what” attitude? This is not per say carelessness or even blindness toward what’s right or wrong but rather a-moving-along character that frees you from all those cynical questions that empoison the mind. Like those great thinkers who never really come up with a definite answer about God’s existence, we all have our limits as to what we can understand. It is not easy to live with that kind of thought because we are stubborn creature. Every day we face a new challenge, everyday a new question arises and then we go right back to asking “why?” well life is not an answer to a particular question. It is rather the journey that leads toward that question. We all have our little insanity side whether bury inside of us or obvious to the world. The question is not so much why do we have it but rather what do we do with it. We don’t know or may never know the answer to all of our questions. I don’t know and may never know the answer to my quest but all I’m interested in is the inspiration and experiences that my thinking is discovering throughout this journey. Maybe there is no definite answer to none of my questions but I will remember when my shadow surrounded my day I took solace in classical music and writing. I will remember that in quest for reasons I become an expert of my subject. Then I realize music has astounding effect on my soul, writing alleviates my pain and am no longer a naïve running blindly toward a snare. Well, there you have it; the reason why the first thing happened is suddenly not that important. The triggering cause becomes simply some “stuff” that I once came across. Suddenly the mind is growing in the right direction and the true intelligence is expanding for a greater good. I Exist, I live, I breathe, I learn, thrive and put my failure to rest. This is ma raison d’être. What is yours?

ला वी इस्ट बल्ले!

part 1
As of today I’m embarking on a journey that to explore all the beauty God made available for me. I am tired of watching TVs and hearing about all the wonderful places existed. There are so many wonders to explore in this mysterious nature, so many genius minds to feed on, so many nerds waiting to be asked impossible questions. School is good but just not enough; work is useful but just not enough. I come to the realization that stability and routine are just too danm boring. I live and grow in a generation where there are as many divorces as marriages; to say that the economy is bad truly is overrated.
Waiting for your age they say, you’re not mature enough I heard, then I look around I see 15 years old boys in there 30s still trying to lose their virginity. The only difference is that at 15 it was physical, but in their 30s it’s more of an ego-booster. Do not get me wrong I am barely feminist; however this universe is so large it’s beyond insanity. All these egos raging and barking around when put on a universal scale are nothing but miniatures. Here we are losing the purpose of breathing trying to score as high as we can. How about you just inhale and exhale for a moment? Somewhere across the globe there’s somebody greater than your genius mighty brain and whether you’re a hero or not, as long as you have breath you will die. That is a guarantee. Then what? If you were a Martin-Luther-King kind we’ll probably remember you every time your death times up in our calendar. Be assured, that is all you get my dear. I mean do you really think the whole world would spend 365 days thinking “oh how I miss him…” the truth hurts but it is what it is. Worst-case scenario you’ve spent your whole life putting yourself above others and grow old with nothing but your ego. Better pray you were savoring each and every single moment because if not, then you’re in big trouble. Now do not think I know any better because I don’t. I am in the process of finding myself just like everybody else. I have no idea who I am sometimes. Frankly, I envy the girls who have it figure down to a science everything they want in life. I change my mind like a 1000 times in a day, and still can’t figure what I want. Forget about school and work because these things are well-structured protocol that has to be followed to achieve a certain goal. So forget about school and work I turn around my personal life I see islands waiting to be discovered. Now isn’t that exciting?!!
Well, what have YOU been up to? Personally I do not want to sleep my life away, not in a million years. We have like up to 60 years to live on this earth, if we’re lucky we might be granted an extra 30 years so let’s say in total all of us have up to 90 years to live. I can tell you right now the world is a meli-melo-mess but life by itself is precious. At least if you’re going to be dull be like “Cheesecake Factory.” The first time I heard the name I think of a lot of sugar, I see smoke in the air, I even think greasy sweaty Italian. I am so serious. Then, on a wonderful cold night my girlfriends decided we’re going there for girls’ night out, open to new experience I agree. So I walked into a wonderful, romantic dim light atmosphere with clean friendly hot Spanish waiters, delicious appetizers, great table well-situated, drinks were amazingly refreshing, music was a little off for my taste but we dance through the whole meal. It was a wonderful time and I cannot wait to go back there. You walk into a place like this you want to sit down, taste all the drinks and have conversations that last hours. That indeed happen because when we were leaving the place we realized they were practically waiting for us to close, the main floor was totally empty. My point is, if you’re going to be dull be so on the outside at least when you open your mouth your happiness from the inside might shine out. No one cares about your bank account unless you’re sharing it or of course you lost all of your money. By the way this is the reason magazines are still on business we feed on others misery. No one really cares about your social status unless it’s needed or worth something valuable. Hence, if you don’t start loosening up soon and take advantage of these 90 or less years you have counting up, you will be sorry…or not. So please let’s not crowd the universe with more unneeded materials; Just find the beauty wherever it is and kiss it. At least give Jesus a run for his money. He took the time to create us let’s not waste his precious time. There are no late fees in the bank of life. There is no manager but yourself, enough with the cry-baby scene let’s dance our 90 something less years to the grave.